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Do not be upset if I tell you your love is a burden to me and much too grounding. I am not the calmest woman. You could have chosen somebody else. You tell me your love is endless but time is running out. The difference is not beginning, it is already here, rolling over everything. I won’t point out the details. I do not know what you see in me, how loving me shapes your life. My father once told me: rise early, be a morning woman, feel the sun begin, know the light as it wakes the world. Let your husband be responsible for night. Keep quiet but know the language of your conscience. Tell the truth, go there. Avoid darkness. Leave midnight to your husband. Become a domestic animal, recognize the sound of a weak branch as it crackles with the wind. Prepare for storms, come well equipped, head off disaster with charm. Don’t tangle emotions. Triumph in the first kiss of dawn. Know your place. It’s not your duty to understand politics. Let your husband solve the problems in the world. Oh, but darling, my father was wrong. Midnight comes peeping through the curtains and I’m interested. I don’t want to separate the light from the dark. I want to endure the same tortures. I don’t want to martyr. I don’t want to make a soufflé. I don’t want to languish in absent-mindedness. I was lying awake in bed as a full moon scraped its nails against the window. I went out to meet it. Do not be upset when you wake up tomorrow and I am not the same woman you married. My father tried to prepare me for love like yours. Cloistered, run by a control panel, my mind cut off, my soul broken away from me. I was a girl who obeyed her father. I am now a woman of flight.
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